Perception

I was not very surprised that my husband rated me pretty close to what I rated myself in all areas except anxiety. I believe he is privy to my nerves more than others in my professional life are, because I express my deepest feelings to him.  What surprised me most about his test is that he thought I did not like to speak in front of a group. When he knows I want to be a teacher of adults. I even said to him. Why would you think I do not like it, when that is what I want to do?  He just shrugged. I felt bad because I became passionate and a bit defensive. I had to regroup so that he would be honest for the rest of the questions. He also sees me at my worst when I resort to yelling. Yes women, I yell sometimes when my patience has run out and my kids are not listening. .

Professionally, I had one of my ex team members answer the questions. She told me that I get high anxiety when I have too much on my plate. She says I say yes to too much.  She unlike my husband thinks I do very well communicating to large groups, but that I am down on myself a lot. I would agree with that, I am my worst critic.  She also thought I was not very aggressive in my ways. I was surprised because with her specifically I have had to play the power card.

This week I was learned that I put a lot of my self-worth on my husband and I communicate that with many of my perceptions. Additionally I learned that I base a lot of my perception off personal experience, my own belief system, and off the way people look. I need to concentrate on changing my judgments and perceptions. I love to get to know people that is not only true from what I believe, but the other people in that took my survey agreed. I love people so much they can sometimes abuse that. I need to ensure that I give them the benefit of the doubt with my first impression too. 


I found this cartoon and it shows how peoples beliefs really do define their perceptions. 

Communicating Differently

Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures?

I do not feel that I communicate differently pre say with people from different cultures; however, I do change how I communicate. I know that it sounds like an oxymoron, but I will communicate the same things I may just talk a bit slower if a person I am talking to does not speak English.

If yes, in what ways do you communicate differently?

Ok… so I guess I do communicate differently, because I do not communicate the same way with children as I do with adults. I talk to children on their level and in words that they understand. As I think more about it, I talk more professionally to my supervisor than I do with my friends.

The answer is that I communicate the same things with people but obviously in different ways. 

Finding Carter- Communication

This assignment was fun and aggravating all at the same time. When I watched Pretty Little Liars. It was very dramatic with the volume down. You could see expressions and body language that expressed all the feelings under the sun. I was pretty spot on about the emotions that were being displayed such as
-anger
-happiness
-sadness
-frustration
- love
I was right about the emotions but not correct on the plot of the show.

I decided to do this with a show I like to watch.

 Since I really enjoy watching this show with my daughters I found it hard to not cheat and hear what was going on; however, when props were used and through body language, and my background knowledge, I could figure out what was going on. What I figured out is I know the characters, therefore, I could read their body language and facial expressions. I just didn't know exactly what was going on so I was aggravated. Then I had an ah-ha moment. When we are not communicating successful people know we are trying to communicated something and they become aggravated with the disconnect. Our body language and facial expressions express the emotion that we have when expressing our thoughts. Isn't it interesting when you are at church or at a training the presenter that is more animated with facial and body language is more interesting to listen to than the one that just drowns on with not facial or body language. Its true...right?

I heard a quote once that communication is 85% body language and facial expressions, and 15% actual words. (something like that) In other words, our physical expressions will give us a way every time.  For example, I say to my daughter please go clean your room, she says (sometimes) ok mommy,but her face frowns and her shoulders droop. I know she doesn't want to do it.

This is why I prefer having parent conferences in person rather than over the phone because their body language may be saying something other than what their body language is saying and I can address that at the time.

People and Communication styles

As I read this question, I realized that their has been numerous people of whom I have learned from. I have adopted some of their skills or techniques. I have also learned from people by knowing I did not want to communicate in their style.  So I learned what not to do.


Here are the following things about communication I have learned from people I have worked with.

In a meeting:

* Have open body language
* Take notes in a meeting
* Active listening
* Summarize the meeting at the end
*Follow up and open the communication again if needed

In a personal relationship

* Active listening
* Cool off before talking
*Don't react/ respond

What I have learned not to do.
* be defensive
* use bully words
* Don't raise your voice
* Don't change the focus of the communication to you at inappropriate times!


These are few things I have learned from professional that have crossed my path.

Communicating is a difficult skill, but I can say that I learn something new every day.

Change your Words, Change your World.

This short video made me cry because it spoke to my heart and brought clarity beyond communication with others.

My personal thoughts were directed toward me and my family. My older daughters are always talking negatively and focus on the negative that may happen rather than the good.  Communication is imperative in our world, but not just with others but with ourselves also. We have power to change how we feel about ourselves and our experiences if we communicate the good. Bringing strength with internal communication.

I had to post this on my blog because it spoke to me. I want it for future use.